Happy Birthday

I can't believe you would be 2 tomorrow Myah. It seems like just yesterday that we brought you home from the hosptial.

I am still so shocked and angry that you aren't here anymore. Why? The questions keep coming after all this time but the answers are so far away.

I know that I have said it a million times but I feel like my love for you is so much stronger than even before you left. I feel connected to you still, almost like you are here.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday and get to celebrate your life. We will be celebrating here. Zoey and I are going to make a cake and we are going to get some balloons, grab Daddy and go to the cemetary to be with you for a bit. So many people want to help me get through tomorrow, but I know that you are the only one that can help, so please do.

As you know you have a little sister in my tummy. I know you put her there for me, and I can't tell you what that means to me. Just help me to be a good mom and not to compare her to you because that will be hard shoes to fill. Most days I don't even feel like I deserve her, but you must so that is good enough for me.

Please just know that we love you so much. Zoey is excited that tomorrow is your birthday, she sees me crying all the time and I really think she is beginning to understand things. She says every once in a while that you are going to come back, it is so sweet. I know she has missed out on so many great opportunities with you, it makes me so sad.

Happy Brithday sweet girl. I love you so much and miss you with all my heart.

Mommy