Hello my baby girl

Hi honey. I just wanted to stop and say hi to you. I know I say it everyday in my head but I thought I would write some stuff down.

Unfortunately we have to go back to Wisconsin this week because Grandma Schmidt passed away on Saturday. It was very peaceful, and she passed quickly. I know Grandpa is struggling right now, but I know that he will be ok. How hard it must be though to lose two wifes to cancer. Please welcome her into heaven and introduce yourself to her, she never got to meet you.

So Daddy and I will be going up there this Tuesday, we are going to take uncle Robby and uncle Adam with us. I think that Zoey might stay with Grandma Carroll, only because the long drive is hard for her and I know she doesn't understand death very well.

I wanted to talk to you about Zoey. She has been having some sad days. She has been vocalizing a lot lately that she misses you. She is confused about life and death right now. I think she is starting to feel abandoned by you, and you and I both know that is not the case. She just doesn't understand why you are not here anymore. I think at the beginning time had no meaning to her. The weeks and months that have passed have felt like days to her.

So keep her close to you now if you can. I bought a picture frame today to put a picture of the both of you in. It says 'Chance made us sisters, our hearts made us friends.' She talks about you a lot lately and asks things like if she got to hold you, and I tell her yes and show her the pictures. She loves babies right now, it must be her age.

I don't know if I want her to be alone forever Myah. Daddy and I are thinking about trying to have more children, which will not be easy, unfortunately. We have a lot of decisions to make and we just want to make the right ones. Please help me in this decision if you can. Just know that no baby will ever replace the spot in my heart that you hold. You opened my eyes to a whole new world of love and I am eternally great full to you for that. I will love you until I breathe my last breath on this earth and then I will love you even more because we will rest, together.

Love,

Mommy